Alright, so lately I’ve been really doubting my husband’s sexuality. I know they say everything changes when you get married, but for us it literally did. He completely changed.
Before we were married the sex was great, he was great, everything was good. But as soon as the ring went on his finger, he changed. He never wanted sex. And about two weeks after our wedding it was my birthday, and instead of showing any interest in me he was too busy texting his ex…. hmm.
Anyway, after some time, the rejection of sex got suspicious. For instance, one time I tried wearing lingerie to turn him on (something he picked out by the way) and he actually laughed at me, turned around to turn the light off, and went to sleep! Really? I found out after some time that he had a porn addiction. He’d rather jack off to porn than have the real thing. This really hurt my self esteem. But now-a-days he doesn’t watch porn as much or at all. He says he has changed..or maybe he’s better at hiding it.. But I haven’t caught him.
He says I’m beautiful and loves me. So why doesn’t he want to have sex with me??? I always see him looking at other girls but he always denies it. One time I even caught him making a fake myspace profile to talk to his ex gf. We moved 500 miles away from his ex though, so I know it can’t be her. So that leaves me with two assumptions: he’s cheating with a girl where we live now, or he’s gay.
Looking back though I’ve noticed some things that he’s done or said that could mean he’s gay. Like the fact that he went from a more casual, tee and jeans fashion, to wearing Express clothes which are tight fitting and more metrosexual. I’ve also caught him doing the “hand flip” gesture when he talks. The no sex? that adds on to it also. I can’t even count how many times I’ve tried to come onto him and he denies me.
I’m not desperate, but I love sex… And one time I went to a party and the host said if you penetrate your man’s ass while he’s cumming the orgasm will be more intense. So every now and then I’d ask him if I could try it for his benefit, but he always denied it (sometimes I’d be joking about it too). But this time when he returned from his most recent deployment (he’s in the military by the way) he asked me to do it, willingly…. ???? It’s just strange that he could go from one extreme to the other. He also had the urge to dress more metro after this last deployment too (Express clothing) but this was like four months ago.
Last night I had a dream that he was gay. In my dream he came back from deployment and was completely turned out. He had a boyfriend and was openly kissing him and grabbing his butt. But it felt so realistic. I saw the guys face and everything. At first I was ok with it, but when I saw the kissing I became enraged.
It was so intense… I was heart broken. He said he turned gay because of me! I’m not sure if I’m just crazy and reading too much into it, or if I am right. But I’ve had this intuitive feeling for a long time. I’m not sure what to do or think. I need your help!
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