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Michael Irene: Former captain and the sinking ship


A story was told about the former captain of a sinking ship. The tale started when this former captain, with baboonic handsomeness and protruding belly wrote long words on a scroll, which he sent to the present captain of the sinking ship. This former captain lambasted, abused and disgraced the present captain with his brilliance.

Many asked how this former captain came off the ship’s steering wheel and started pointing moral fingers. Simple. His senses came back into his head when he left the helm. Former captain, while in control, killed passengers of the ship, stole gold and destroyed various parts of the ship so bad that when the new captain gained control of the ship he didn’t know what to do.

To the surprise of the ship’s passengers, the scroll was later put up in a notice board for all to see. The people read the message and opened their mouths, noses and ears in shock. It suggested, among other things, how the new captain should save the ship from sinking. The people pulled their hairs off their heads and some tore their clothes because of what they’ve read. They asked many questions like: how can this criminal begin to call another man a criminal? Who is this former captain?

One of the occupants of the sea summarised the former king’s ranting with another story. Once upon a time, the occupant began, there was a ship and a captain. This captain was a notorious pirate in his hey days and when he changed his acts, he was given the steering of the ship to lead her to save lands. Everyone believed him. However, when he started his journey, it was said that poisonous sea breezes entered his nostrils and he lost his grip. The ship was sinking and to save it, he quickly started taking heavy gold bars, killing people and returned to his old piratic ways. He could not help it; that’s how the gods made him. The pirate-former-captain asked the people to allow him steer the ship for a third time and the people cried a big NO. He was dropped but still respected. That’s how the story ended.

The former captain chose another captain. The sea was too turbulent for this thin-new captain and he died immediately after he took control. Former captain, seeing that some other occupants might quickly steal the wheel decided to push a humble man, present in the ship, onto the helm. This new pushed captain did not have shoes, it was rumoured. Everyone pitied him. But when he started steering he decided to buy golden shoes and allowed his lovely damsel to turn the wheel sometimes.

The occupants wailed with joy. A new journey started. This new captain promised to take them to new lands. He promised the journey would be as smooth as a baby’s bum. The people thanked their gods for such an intervention. Days went on and the storms started again. Like the titanic, this ship hit her first ice and that’s when things began to fall apart. The people ran helter-skelter looking for shelter. Hiding and running away from what seemed like an impending doom, they swam to other shores. Brave people.

The new captain, clueless and ignorant, lied that nothing happened and claimed his enemies from past put stones to disturb his sail. Again, he promised to fix the issue. The people relaxed and everything went back to normal. Alas, another crash happened. This time, the captain, sent his dog to bark on the people. The dog barked and barked until the people kept quiet. This dog was said to have bitten the captain before some long time ago; he bit the captain until the captain enticed him with fried egufe. The dog ate the meat and forgot himself. He forgot people used to rub his head because, yes, he had the degenerate abilities of biting captains who deceived the people.

Another storm is dancing in the distance and this former captain has seen it and he’s angry. It was said that he had warned this new captain over and over again and that this new captain would not listen. The passengers asked why this new captain would not listen to the former captain? Perhaps, new captain is angry with the former captain, the passengers concluded. Maybe, just maybe, the new captain wants to ride the ship forever.

That’s how they are on that ship. Captains always love long rides. They enjoy sniffing in the air that comes with riding such a gigantic, beautiful ship. Regardless of what’s happening in the ship’s cabins. They forget that cabins are part of a ship’s make up.

It was said that when the new captain read the long scroll from former captain, he laughed and said to his damsel: “My prostitute wife, look at what we have here.” Damsel looked at the letter and shook her head before replying like this: “ Where that dog? Give dog, make he go do woo-woo-woo.” Dog perceived the matter before he was called. At the moment, dog is chasing former captain. Former captain is not running.

Other captains who know the secrets to saving the sinking ship guide this former captain, that’s how the story went. Former captain, the story also said, boasts that he fathers other sea lords.

This ship is sinking, yes. The passengers know but they would look on. They like turbulence of the sea. Next time the former captain and the new captain meet they would discuss over a bowl of meat. That’s the story of the ship. Nothing is new.

Mail: moshoke@yahoo.com Twitter: @moshoke

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