On the 28th day of November 2015, America celebrated their Black Friday, which was usually after their Thanksgiving Ceremony. In Nigeria too, surprising as it may sound, Nigeria and Nigerians celebrated Black Friday, but, in different styles.
Western companies used the day to reward their customers with “discounted sales”. Most business owners in Nigeria extended this capitalist generosity to their Nigerian customers who loved anything western. It reminds one of those days when we enjoyed watching cowboy movies and Indian movies through the window of that rich neighbour. So, the big conglomerates caught Nigerians, watching the Black Friday through the window, and did what most fathers would do—he got angry, bought a big flat screen and told the children to sit down and watch those western films in their own house. This strange father, however, charged his own children and he called it sales.
Spar, shoprite, to mention those two, gained profit from the Black Friday customers’ delusion. There was a big queue as many wanted to buy things on sale. Who no like awoof? But, ask some Nigerians about the history of Black Friday and they would ask you “wetin concern agbero with over load?”
Meanwhile, down in the northern part of the same country, another type of Black Friday rocked the environs. An exploding party was held in Kano, which led to the death of hundred or more individuals. It was hosted by a group of individuals worse than Clifford Orji in his prime. They loved the fact that they can tear up limbs and smash brains with their tactics.
In this category, humans were on SALE. Who was buying?
After the bomb blast in that part of the nation, which is now a consistent thing, can the citizens begin to call everyday a black day? Since they don’t know when another bombing would take place. It is a game of chance now. You don’t know what the result would be. For further elaboration, let’s add the adjective “black” to a few Nigerian words and acronyms.
BLACK PDP or BLACK APC, will this suit marketing purposes of the political elite? After all, their pursuit of power for selfish reasons is not far from what capitalist companies try to achieve by labeling a particular day BLACK. Also, since the colour connotes anything that oozes negativity we might conclude that nothing good can come from the dark bellies of these political parties.
There is this blackness spreading over the thirty-six states of the federation like a rug spread over a Hollywood runway. The do or die affair is at play: if party A doesn’t win then party P must find a way to win. Godfathers are out in their numbers plotting, masturbating the cocks of their protégés and also fingering the anuses of various party men so that they can have an orgy party over acquiring the National Cake. What’s more, they’ve taken over the media chanting about the bridge they will build from earth to heaven.
Perhaps, Black has spread over the majority of Nigerian masses as they sit in the comfort of their homes wailing and waiting expectantly for an angel that would get them into that utopian Nigeria. They’ve become the proverbial beggar who wants to gallop on a golden horse.
When Martin Luther king Jr. announced that he had a dream about a world where people would be judged by their character and not by the colour of their skin he didn’t say we should not judge humans by the money in their account, he didn’t say we should not judge certain elements by the tricks they play and he didn’t say we should not call out the black ones that make black, Black. If Martin Luther were a Nigerian, he wouldn’t have been as peaceful as history revealed. He would be charging through the streets screaming on the top of his lungs: “all we are saying!”
Lest we forget, our president has been able to see past all these blackness. He has placed himself in the shoes of great heroes. He reminded us, through the most ridiculous of campaign adverts, that it took time for Martin Luther Jr. to achieve his dream. Then goes further to claim, albeit senselessly, that it took Mandela time to achieve his goal. Then closes the advert up with a comparison with Obama. It is not a bad thing to dream. As a matter of fact, good leaders should dream and, most importantly, share it with their citizens. However, it is rather bizarre when GEJ placed himself in the highest and most prestigious shoes of heroes like Mandela and Luther or even Obama. Let us be clear, GEJ will not be remembered like these black heroes. Never! Not everyone can be on the good side of history..
Contemporary Nigeria cannot create fine revolutionaries. No, it cannot. Nigerian can only boast of people who blow hot air and when they are cooled by air-conditioned dollars of government they turn their face away from their mission. In the Niger delta, in the western part of Nigeria and in the southern part of the country, these corrupt revolutionary champions still mingle with the Devils Nigerians fear.
The ugly truth is this: there can be no pure, undiluted, scrupulous leader in Nigeria because Nigerians are generally corrupt. Most, over ninety percent of Nigerians, live by the code of corruption. Man must chop is the order of the day and surprisingly they chastise their leaders for chopping. It is a dog-eat-dog society; it is an animal kingdom.
What Nigerians can expect, as they mark their “follow-follow” holiday, is a no holds barred, double edged, abracadabra in 2015. The balls are out. The magicians are in their robes ready to juggle the colourful balls of politics. Just a couple of weeks ago, Nigerians witnessed lawmakers jumping over gates just to gain entrance into the National Assembly complex. Come and see Americanah wonder!
Sleep is scarce for citizens in the North because of fear of the next explosion. Life, there, is like playing a game of Russian roulette whereby one doesn’t know who will get hit by shrapnel of the haram boys. Sadly too, there is no permanent solution to this consistent malaise.
Instead, what we have is a galloping around of headless heads trying to secure their place for 2015. It was Noviolet Bulawayo, the Zimbabwean author, who advised that We Need New Names but, if we give her proposition a twist, we can say We Need New Heads. Or better still, we need real dreamers who can undo the capitalist effect of Black Friday on the psychic of Nigerian. That has to be done without delusion and comparison to heroes who have paid ultimate prices. The price is just a mere shift in thinking and a mere adjustment in actions.
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